Playing Clarinet Relieves Overbite

April Fool's Day news.

The makers of TurboTax have compiled what they say are REAL examples of foolish deductions people have tried to claim when filing their taxes.

In honor of April Fools Day, TurboTax provided their list of the 12 Most Foolish Tax Write-Offs Ever Attempted, and the ludicrous reasoning behind them. Among other bogus tax deduction justifications there was: sperm donation, witchcraft, free beer, sex toys, breast implants and ostrich depreciation.

Clarinet lessons

The Houston Chronicle reported the story of how playing the clarinet demonstrably lessens the pain of overbite, an agonizing tooth defect. And so, parents have been permitted to write off the costs of clarinet lessons as a legitimate medical expense. As the Chronicle explained, legally deductible medical expenses "involve diagnosis, cure, treatment or prevention of a disease or health condition for you, a spouse or a dependent."

So there you go. Beyond making music, clarinet is good for a lot of things, from relieving overbite pain to use as a lamp or a weapon. (Beyond damage to hearing, clarinet squeaks can cause structural damage to foundations.)

But as I've also said before, clarinet can be a corrupting influence causing criminal activity.

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